Dis'Guyz'ed

“Hi Guys, How are you all?”

“Common Guys, lets move…”

“These Guys, My God, will never improve…” As these thoughts of “Guyness” were craving for getting carved in my mind, I heard a scream from behind, “Hey Guys, you here? What a pleasant surprise!”

My mind, as though, a part of the Surprise-Provider group, answered them, “Isn’t ‘surprise’ part of Guyness?” But only I heard it. I sincerely acknowledged my brain for being so very considerate in answering the call.

I slowly moved out of the over-populated canteen and a thunder hit me. Ashwin was getting into the college compound. An historical event was about to happen and I was there to witness it. The thought though was short lived. Soon I realized that there was some uniformity in the actions of most of the people around me. Standing straight, shoulders a bit curved forward, eyes-bulging out, staring at one and only one single point, the locus – Ashwin. This gave an appearance of a huge circle (or circles) with Ashwin at its centre and every other person a point on its circumference with circles all the time shrinking in size. This looked to be an act of anti-universe-ism to the ever expanding nature of our universe, or as are the North and South Poles of a magnet, Matter and Anti-Matter concept in nature but anytime more close to Prof. K. S. Shridharan’s notes on the board (if any) and its extinction from our mind, the very next moment.

What followed next didn’t follow any laws - Newton’s or Einstein’s. Soon a treat was planned on the occasion of such great importance and magnitude - the incarnation of Ashwin in the college compound. It looked like an annual event of convocation better, when someone graduates out of our college - graduating from our college, an annual event? I doubted. But this doubt soon vanished with reconfirmation of our faith in the ‘open-mindedness’ of the staff in here. First name on the long list of participants of the party – Mr. Keshav Murthy, Principal of the campus!

Familiar sounds with over use of ‘Guys’ noised the whole environment. The event maintained its standards of giving supposed joy for the next 365 days with an exception of unscheduled next darshan of this deity – Ashwin. DJ, shouts, dance and other routine things at the party began in no time. This soon followed with a Farewell Party to this renunciant who gave away everything – classes, books, exams and even money for the ‘safe’ functioning of our great, unique, one of its kind college. We knew that our college had been existent due to quite a few renunciants abandoning the comforts of the college and staying in the hermitage of their palaces for the welfare of the humanity at large.

The dark serene night was lightened with people-men and women, guys and gals each more qualified than Dhruva in terms of body detachments, for them to be given a place in the sky. Wondered – soon there may not be any night due to the luminance of the added stars of our monks. Why should not they be given that status, anyway? With full detachment they were giving up ‘everything’.

Synonymous to the Last Supper with its disciples, our English teacher was giving the Sermon on the Table (asynchronous?) for he was to retire this year. Only object of non-controversy being the absence of Mary Magladene next to him (say cheese, Da Vinci here! Click!).

The end came towards the beginning of the day. Remebered my cliking Start button for Shutting down Windows on my rotten PC. After the crowd receded, I silently approached Ashwin. A familiar smile greeted me. “What man!”, gesturing with both his hands in semi-circle horizontally indicating the big party, Ashwin continued, “THE Guy thing to do, right?” and we both rolled and laughed and laughed.

One thing struck me and got stuck to me. Ashwin had called me ‘man’ and not ‘Guy’. What I saw next was a book by Dave Barry – A Guide to Guys. The page said,"The difference between men and Guys..."